Want Better Tacos? Privatize the Courts

People trust the private sector and economic incentives to provide them with food and water, the two most necessary and basic elements of human life. But if you were to espouse that the private sector would have more of an incentive to provide protection and justice, you’re looked at like a twerking pigeon. Economic incentives are universal. If people want something, other people will want to provide it ($$$).

One quick example to make everyone’s minds EXPLODE.


We all need them. Society needs to have them.

Let’s compare Chiptole and the court system for a second. People go to Chiptole because it’s fast, relatively cheap, and it’s quality food. It fills their wants and desires for burritos, tacos, or salads (disgusting).

What incentive does Chipotle have for providing quality ingredients? Don’t tell me it’s the FDA because obviously you haven’t looked at how thin their layers of protection are, as well as the egregious ingredients present at other less expensive places.

Why does Chipotle provide fast service? Last time I checked, there was no bureaucracy regulating how fast food is prepared. So if not the FDA or government agency, then what is making Chipotle act so strangely and against the obvious incentive to take their time and provide cheaper ingredients?

It’s a little thing called market pressure.

Market pressure provides that people will dictate what businesses they want. For example, there may be more taco shops in downtown Miami than in Ridgefield, Connecticut. Why is that, you ask? Miami’s Hispanic population wants more of their own culture’s food than caucasians in Connecticut want brisket and burgers. There’s no government law requiring each town to have a taco shop and burger joint. The market dictates where things go.

Now quick clarification. The market isn’t some esoteric being that’s in the sky controlling everything. It’s not even the invisible hand that Adam Smith talked about in the Wealth of Nations. No, the market is simply each individual person’s desires mirrored through exchange. To simplify even more for those of you who went to State schools(jkjk), the market is what makes people happy. Read that again. Happy. Period. If it doesnt make people happy at large, it won’t survive.

Now let’s go to the courts. Let’s say we privatized the courts tomorrow. BUT JAMES, WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO CAN’T AFFORD IT. DO YOU HATE THE POOR!?

Sit down little man, I got this. Ask yourselves this. Is a third party sometimes necessary to decide disputes? Yes. Okay, so we agree there’s an incentive to provide that service.

Now think back to Chipotle. What makes them great? Cheap prices, good quality. Would Chipotle still be as cheap or as good if they didnt’t have Moes, Taco Bell, and every small taco and burrito shop in America competing with them? Obviously not. Why? Because competition breeds quality. Competition also breeds providing services at a lower price to appease that 16 year old kid who rolled in on his skateboard with his weed underwear hanging out.

So back to courts. Privatizing courts would have the same effect. It would create several different services that would provide relief, each with its own distinct setting and flavor.

But how would we decide which one to go?

WELL, How do you decide where to eat? BY WHO’S GOT THE BEST TACOS! Again relating back to the Chipotle model, courts or arbitration systems would have a market pressure to provide justice. If a rich person wanted to pay off a judge or pay for a decision, that would reflect on the quality of the courts service.

Don’t believe me? Go check what happened to Chipotle’s stock when ecoli was found. It fell faster than Jose Aldo. It wasn’t the FDA that caught it. It was people getting sick and prompting a search into why they weren’t happy. The same would happen if a court service was found to be fraudulent, full of mistakes, or money-hungry.

The courts would have an incentive on hearing cases, finding equitable solutions, and making their customers happy. Remember we talked a few minutes ago about what drives the market? Making the most amount of people HAPPY.

These principles don’t change. If it works for one service, it would work for another. Moreover, if you think our court system is working great now, you should look again. Injustices are occurring everyday on a widespread scale. Why? Because the government ‘s archaic model offers no incentive to provide quality or cheap price. Why? Because the government doesn’t have any competition. These principles DO NOT change.

Think about it, if you want better justice burritos, we have to privatize the courts. Okay rant over.

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