Confused Communist Man Accidentally Promotes Capitalism

Bernie Sanders is without a doubt the most interesting man in the world. He ran one of the most openly anti-capitalist presidential campaigns of our lifetime, and maintained that he was anti-establishment and anti-Wall Street, despite endorsing the Wall Street backed establishment queen Hillary Clinton.

Bernie also maintains that man is greedy and capitalism is a failed and corrupted system. Yet ironically enough, he was able to raise over $20 million in voluntary donations for his presidential campaign, proving that people are willing and capable of voluntarily relinquishing their earnings towards causes they value, without the force of government. And just a few days ago during his CNN Town Hall, Bernie Sanders was frazzled by an entrepreneur and managed to turn a question about small businesses into an answer about pollution.

Adding to his lifelong trend of not having a grip on reality, Grandpa Giveaway is yet again confused by his own positions and is now endorsing capitalism. In a weird twist of events, the Bernout is now telling his supporters that competition lowers the prices of goods, a complete 180 from his stance on healthcare and education, in which he believes granting the state a monopoly will lower costs.

In a video uploaded to Facebook earlier this week, Comrade Sanders announced that he is “offering an amendment which says something very straightforward: pharmacists and prescription drug distributors should be able to purchase low-cost medicine from other countries at a fraction of the price they’re paying in the United States.”