Woman Hit By Car As Communists Protest Free Market Advocates

Article by Peter E. Hegem

Around 7 pm a woman was hit by a car directly across from the Convention Center in West Palm Beach. Emergency services, Police, and ambulances were already on the scene… because of anticipated clashes between Socialist and Marxist protesters and a nearby conservative summit. The Turning Point Student Action Summit was being held in the center across the street from where the woman was hit.

The Marxists were seen holding signs saying “No Pasaran”(sic).

(roughly “they shall not pass” in Spanish, a reference to a speech made by a communist urging workers to cooperate with republican forces fighting in Spain), the protesters earnestly believed that the Turning Point activists were outright fascists. Citing “evidence” of Pepe memes, hand gestures like the OK symbol by speakers, and various other explicitly conservative trappings including support for Republicans like Scott Walker, the protesters blocked the sidewalk in front of the convention center with signs and unwashed dreadlocks. Squaring off with the police protecting the Students aged 15-24, the presumably jobless socialist mob began predictably chanting about Fascism, Racism, and the KKK… Before woman trying to cross the road was run over right in front of their childish tantrum.
After all, “No Pasarán”. They shall not pass.

Unsurprisingly again, even this sign was spelled wrong.

The accent mark in “Pasarán” was missing, which is a simple looking mistake to the average English speaker, but immediately sets off alarm bells to someone basically literate in Spanish. Which begs the question of why such a poor Spanish speaker would have a sign written in Spanish in the first place. The mistake is so simple as to be the plot of a Scooby Doo episode, where another cheesy cartoon villain makes a similar mistake to be caught by the mystery crew when an actual Spanish speaker points out the elementary mistake. Ruh Roh. As if being socialists in 2017 wasn’t bad enough, the protesters were engaged in faking Spanish support to hide their self-inflicted middle-class Bourgeois white guilt. ¡Ah, que la canción! If the 2016 Cuban vote in Florida wasn’t enough to convince society at large that Hispanics and legal citizens aren’t on board with progressive hysterics, maybe this blatant showmanship will. If you’re bothering to google translate or Wikipedia up a slogan for your message, don’t forget your diacritical mark.

Be it by causing nearby drivers to stare at their unwashed spectacle, or by physically blocking the sidewalk, socialist protesters tonight have contributed to a girl being hit by traffic. On a brighter note, communism failed to kill this time. The girl appeared lightly injured, although no official status was available at the time of this writing. That wasn’t the end of the commotion, however. Deep in the throes of Trump Derangement Syndrome, the protesters continued protesting after the girl was hit. However, megaphone lisped proclamations about being on the right side of history really don’t have the same bite when the people uttering them leave onlookers lying in the street, after getting stuck on the wrong side of the road.

Updates will follow.