Half of Detroit’s Mayoral Candidates Are Convicted Felons

In an apparent attempt to solidify the stereotype that Detroit is a crime-ridden liberal hellhole, the city currently has 8 mayoral candidates running and half of them are felons. Considering the fact that Detroit overwhelmingly voted for Barack Obama in 2012 by an astounding 98 percent, this recent revelation should come as no surprise. Perhaps it takes a criminal to reign in a city consumed by crime.
Let’s take a look at our candidates.

Danetta Simpson, currently vying against three other felons (I have to keep mentioning that because it’s hilarious), was convicted in 1996 for assault with intent to murder. She is a mother of four, and apparently, in an event that seems to be straight out of an episode of Maury, got into an altercation with a woman who was living with the father of two of her children. She is accused of firing a gun at the woman although she claims that she was, “…overcharged for a crime I did not commit.” Sounds like leadership material. Let’s see what other rising stars Detroit has to offer.

Next on our list of winners is Donna Marie Pitts. Donna has a special relationship with crime. I would almost go so far as to say she is the Hillary Clinton of Detroit except that she actually gets caught and has yet to amass a body count (that we know of). Our dear Donna, in 1977, was convicted of receiving and concealing a stolen 1977 Oldsmobile. This was just the beginning. A decade later, she was charged with two counts of assault with intent to murder and two firearms offenses which were related to two shooting incidents. Luckily for her, she was able to get her conviction reduced to assault with intent to do great bodily harm. Are we done, folks? Not even close. Donna was arrested in 2000 for fleeing/eluding and operating a vehicle without a license, and in 2003 she was convicted of firearm possession and carrying a concealed weapon. It is worth noting that our sweet Donna disputes many of these allegations and claims to be a victim of discrimination. I’m sure she’ll be great for the city.

Our final two potential mayors are Atricia Bomer and Curtis Greene. Atricia was charged in 2008 with carrying a concealed weapon although she claims it was not hers. In 2004, Curtis was charged with fleeing and eluding police and delivering and manufacturing marijuana. Following this, in 2005 he was arrested and charged with uttering and publishing a fraudulent check. Curtis’ behavior can be chocked up to youthful ignorance because he was only 19 at the time of his felony, and Atricia’s charge of carrying a concealed weapon probably should not be a felony in the first place. Of the four felons, Atricia and Curtis are the ones I would most likely consider as their crimes did not involve outright violence.

There you have it. Four of your eight candidates for mayor of Detroit are convicted felons. Nowhere in the United States was P. Diddy’s “Vote or Die” campaign taken more seriously than in the Motor City.