IRS Gives Up Theft For Lent

The following is a satirical article

As we enter into the Lenten season, Americans are left wondering what sacrifices they want to make over the next six weeks. Many will be giving up coffee, and others social media or junk food. But some plan on taking their commitment to the next level.

The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has announced that they will be giving up theft for lent.

In a statement posted to their website, the IRS boldly exclaimed:

“We steal nearly $5 trillion from the American taxpayers each year, robbing each American of nearly $16,000. Though we insist it is for the roads, it is getting exceedingly difficult to stand by this lie. It is an undeniable truth that taxation is theft, and we seek redemption for our transgressions against the American people, and pray for the Lord’s forgiveness.”

It is unclear if the IRS will continue to give up theft after the Lenten season concludes, but their newfound humility gives us good reason to be hopeful.

Since tax season overlaps with Lent, the IRS has also announced that American citizens will no longer need to file their taxes this year, and will be allowed to keep every penny they earned in 2016.