The New England Patriots Have Lost the Super Bowl; Here’s How Bernie Can Still Win


The following is a satirical article.

Last night, the Philadelphia Eagles defeated the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII, and the world will never be the same. Both New England and Philadelphia is in disarray. Riots have broken out in celebration and mourning. Chaos has ensued, and it is all Trump’s fault!

It is so obviously Trump’s fault, in fact, that the Military will depose of this president! The moment the president declares Martial Law, the Military will surely eliminate the entire Trump Administration. In addition, they will remove all members of the presidential line of succession from office. This will lead to a constitutional crisis.

Since a constitutional crisis will happen, a new election will happen post Martial Law. Since there will be a new presidential election Bernie Sanders will become the President of the United States, and I will probably be thrown into a gulag.

But there is a way to stop this calamity from happening. You can stop Bernie Sanders by buying a Taxation is Theft Hat at!