NOT MY CHAMPIONS: Protests erupt as Golden State Warriors Win the NBA Finals

The following piece is satirical

Protests erupted in several US cities as the Golden State Warriors finished off the Cleveland Cavaliers in game 5 of the NBA finals, 129-120.

Hillary Clinton took the stage in Cleveland, at the same site LeBron James held a rally with her in 2016. There, Clinton sought to comfort demoralized Cavaliers fans by blaming the series loss on the Russian government, James Comey, and Adam Silver. She claimed the championship was rigged and the scoreboard was in jeopardy in at least three key games. Senate Democrats are expected to filibuster the results tomorrow after the Jeff Sessions hearing.




Violence reportedly broke out in Oklahoma City as star point guard Russell Westbrook led fans to burn Kevin Durant jerseys and shout “not my NBA champions”. AntiWarriors, AntiWar for short, was an organization started by Westbrook after Kevin Durant left for Golden State during free agency.

In Portland, Bernie Sanders joined thousands of Trail Blazers fans to protest the talent inequality in the NBA. The protesters wanted teams like the 76ers and the Suns to have players redistributed from playoff teams in order to make the league more fair.

LeBron James said he will take his talents to Washington in 2020 with a presidential run. Kevin Durant responded by moving to the Republicans for the 2020 convention. It is sure to be a much anticipated election already.