Gary Johnson Finally Finds Aleppo

The following is a satirical article





If you’re wondering why Gary Johnson has seemingly disappeared from the face of the earth after his presidential bid in 2016, it’s because he¬†enrolled at Bill Weld University to take some geography courses.

The former Libertarian presidential candidate, who once had trouble locating the Syrian city of Aleppo, has been feeling dismayed since his mishap on MSNBC last September.




Our action news team caught up with Gary at Bill Weld University this morning to ask him how his classes are going.

Johnson told us:

“Well look, you see they asked me ‘what is Aleppo’ so I wanted to find Aleppo. And um, it’s nearing the end of the semester and I think I’ve almost figured it out.”

Johnson invited us to follow him to his class, which was taught by Professor Nicholas Sarwark. Sarwark spent the hour going over the geography of the eastern hemisphere and then invited Gary up to the chalkboard to try to locate Aleppo on a map of Syria. The challenge was daunting, but the former New Mexico governor finally prevailed, and pointed to the Syrian city in triumph.