Bernie Supporters on Suicide Watch After Their Candidate Sells Out

“Let us wage a moral and political war against the billionaires and corporate leaders, on Wall Street and elsewhere, whose policies and greed are destroying the middle class of America.” These words were once uttered by a man believed by many to be an outsider to the system, who would bring fundamental change to our structure of governance here in the United States of America. This man’s name was Bernie Sanders.

Bernie’s entire campaign was predicated on just this; that the 1% has corrupted our government and rigged it for their own benefit. Bernie’s campaign inspired a political revolution against Wall Street, igniting millions of young millennials to energetically take his message to the streets. But the bern that many were feeling was quickly extinguished when Bernie Sanders sold out faster than game 7 of the World Series.

Just three months after saying, “I don’t believe that [Hillary Clinton] is qualified, if she is, through her super PAC, taking tens of millions of dollars in special interest funds,” the man of the people decided to endorse the queen of corporatism, exclaiming that “Based on her ideas and her leadership, Hillary Clinton must become the next president of the United States.”

Though much older and less agile, Bernie Sanders quickly became the political equivalent of Anakin Skywalker in his lust for power. He was consumed by his hatred and joined the very evil he swore to destroy.

His army of supporters were warned that this would happen, since big government is a breeding ground for corruption, but they faithfully stood by their candidate in hopes that he was the chosen one.  They now stand in disarray as they learn the hard truth about government and its intrinsic evils, and are clamoring for a new hope.

Some have gone on to back Clinton, but many others are seen weeping at the loss of their anointed hero.

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Bernie Sanders’ treasonous departure from his own movement now has many in the most rambunctious socialist revolution since Lenin on suicide watch and wanting to wait on the big bread line in the sky.

But not to fear, Bernie fans. Capitalism is here. Without it, there wouldn’t be therapists to help you through this troubling time.

Let your journey down the rabbit hole to libertarianism and private property begin. The government only wants to control you, they do not wish to represent you. Bernard has proven just that. And when you give a government this much power, crooked criminals like Hillary Clinton will seize control and do ominous things.

It’s time to learn the ways of the force, and the ways of the free market. Start your journey here at, or head on over to